The Sunshine Post #14

Hello dears!

I repent of childhood fears – of all the times when I didn’t climb trees, or run outside more, or eat dirt (which likely strengthens your immune system). I think this form of physical shelteredness is one reason why I was very easily injured before, or why my hands feel like they’ve been submerged in shea butter for weeks, or why I’m so pale for one of my race. Apart from a chicken pox mark smack in the middle of my forehead, a very faint almost-diminished white line on my left leg because of a karting accident, and random scratches that did not mark me, I have no physical childhood scars. My body does not tell a story.

Well this weekend, I tried something completely new again: rock climbing. It was indoors, at a place that’s only a three-minute drive from my house. I’ve heard that the mountaineers here in Manila are also the capoeiristas and the surfers – the cool people in the city, in other words. I will seek them out and learn this all!

I went with my writing mentor, Sandra (well, we’re more of friends now, so yay). How very poetic of us – first she helps me scale academic heights, now she’s with me in scaling literal heights.

After we were all strapped and geared up, we were given safety instructions, but honestly, I barely listened. The lone precaution I remembered was to keep the rope in front of you so you won’t get rope burn. (I’m vain, I know.) Yup, keep everything locked. Uh huh. I just wanted to go up there, you guys! I’ve never climbed before and I didn’t want fear to set in. Let’s just go, go, go!

Wall Number One was a 30-foot “easy” wall. On all of them, there are different rocks of various shapes all bolted – securely, I hope, except for one rogue step that freaked me out. Rock climbing is daunting, because I didn’t know how to “read” a wall yet. I didn’t know whether one rock is good to climb on until I grabbed it (yes, rock climbing is a metaphor for life). I had to learn how to stretch my limbs, too – a good complement to yoga – and spread myself across the rocks for several seconds until I figured out the smartest way to gain another couple of inches.

Climbing has a very zen feel to it. It’s very straightforward – you’re down there, get up there, figure out the in-between. Your hands and feet become almost claw-like, clutching the rocks and quickly transferring your weight from one grip to the next. I methodically made my way up. Five feet … Then ten … Twenty … Twenty-five… Almost there…

And. Then. I. Touched. The. Top. Rock!

Yay! I did it! I rock (that was not a pun)! Woohoo!

Then Sandra yelled from the ground: “Now let go!”

What?

“Let go of the wall! Just sit in the air!”

My heart stopped. “What? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” I was not briefed on this part of the climb!

“Just do it, Cathy!”

Oh crap it, I said, relenting to her demands. And. I. Let. Go….

And WHOA, yo! Hanging suspended in mid-air was just so… whee! Happy! It’s so Cirque du Soleil. Ole! I can’t stand it. I felt so lightheaded when I came down. I can’t believe I reached the top the first time! And I can’t believe I let go so easily! This is totally not the old me, who would have probably double-checked the instructor’s resume, practiced for a bit, and learned the history and physics of mountaineering before even going out at all.

Wall Number Two was ok. The difficulty lies in the steepness and type of incline, as well as the kind of rocks embedded in the wall. I think it will develop my upper body strength; it takes all my arms’ energy to launch my ass up in the air. It reminds me of the first few times I tried to get into my bed at the top bunk in the WYA house (hmm, you guys think this helped make this easy for me?). This time, it was a lot easier to let go; I actually loved that part. It’s hard to keep your butt cheeks 30 feet in the air when you’ve never done it before!

Last on our list was Wall Number Three. (There are six walls there – the hardest one involves you traversing a wall that is parallel to the sky. Yow! I’ve heard that experienced mountaineers actually develop “Spiderman fingers” – their hands are so calloused and tough, the fact that they are even touching the wall gives them support.)

But halfway through, I was so exhausted, and the rocks were farther apart and smaller. Realizing I wouldn’t make it to the top of that wall, at least for the day, I let go and was swinging 15 feet in the air. “Are you ok? Are you terrified?” Sandra yelled from below. Hmm, other people in my situation may, but because I’m Filipino, the sentence that came out of my mouth was:

“Hey, can you take a picture of me?”

And she did. Woohoo! It came out a bit blurry since I was moving.

I was swinging happily in mid-air and shrieking “Woohoo!” every so often, wiggling my legs like a cockroach on its back. I attempted to glide in the air like a trapeze artist, which elicited snickers from the staff. This went on for a few minutes, with my mentor staring up at me as though I was mad. I stopped when I realized my harness was giving me a wedgie. They belayed* me slowly, and I was still laughing when I hit the floor. Man, I will never forget that day.

*(belay: mountaineering term for “controlling the rope,” in this case, to bring the climber down)

Ah, and to think that I used to be afraid of heights! (Or at least that’s what I thought to myself. When I was 8 years old, I nearly fell off of a roof in my school. We were spying on one of our teachers who was sleeping – when you’re eight, these things are quite scandalous to you. She jerked awake, I ran, and my arm hit a window and I fell to my feet. The edges of my fingers were hanging off of the roof. My arm was sliced open, bleeding, but hell, it’s better than dying.)

Before, I used to tell everyone that I’m afraid of everything, but I’ll do it anyway. Now, I think I’m accustomed to the fact that I will naturally and earnestly go beyond my sandbox and seek out alternative means of play, which means that I will have to forget the concept of fear anyway. This makes me even more grateful for immersing myself in martial arts, yoga, first aid, etc. – things that will keep me alive for as long as possible despite the shenanigans I will likely get myself into.

As for rock climbing though, I don’t want to do this for too long – your skin gets so dry and calloused. I’ll admit I’m vain that way. But I’ll try (almost) anything once, or for a while until the wonder wears off.

But until that happens, ha! Wall Number Three, see you next Sunday!


Lots of love,
Cathy